The Angry Dork

There is nothing more unbecoming of a person than a public display of anger. I am not talking about the anger one might express over some great social injustice, for example despotic regimes, racism, or even killing baby seals. I am instead writing of the type of self absorbed anger that comes from within. Road rage would be a good example. The person in front of ME is not going as fast as I would like. That person is texting and putting on mascara while driving... the nerve!

Or as I experienced this very evening: a driver cutting ME off, even though I signaled my turn, have flashing head and tail lights, bright reflective ankle strap, crazy reflectors on my helmet, a bright yellow (and totally dorky) vest. And this infraction at the end of my 15.8 mile commute turning onto MY street.

Pissed I was... yes, I allowed the dark side of the force to control me for a moment and I started to chase the offending vehicle up my street. I watched as my neighbor turned into their driveway and thought "love your neighbor as yourself" Ugh. What could be worse than an angry dork... an angry elf?

I love riding. Also on this same night I saw someone walking a bike with a rear flat. they had a backpack and a fishing pole coming from the bridge over the creek. A lot of folks fish in the Ballona Creek. I would not want to eat this fish, some do. Anyway I turned back and offered to make things right with the tire flatness. Wheel off, tire off, find puncture, patch... oops my glue is all dried out and hard as a rock. Now just today on Bike Snob NYC he mentioned the old dollar bill wrapped around the tube trick. Snobby has never steered anything wrong I am sure though I think he was referencing some dorks touring on fixed (dork) bikes in Japan.

Why not try it I thought to myself. Here I am looking like a total dork, "Here I'll help you out. I have everything you need in my capacious pannier." (yes it is a big bag). everything except a viable tube of glue. Kneeling there with mucilage on my face, I decided to go with the dollar bill wrapped around the tube. It held air. At least better than without, hopefully enough for this lady to get home. She had not caught any fish and said, "I was going to have rice and fish for dinner, now just rice. Well as long as I can get home for American Idol."

Glad to help,

The Bike Dork