The Angry Dork

There is nothing more unbecoming of a person than a public display of anger. I am not talking about the anger one might express over some great social injustice, for example despotic regimes, racism, or even killing baby seals. I am instead writing of the type of self absorbed anger that comes from within. Road rage would be a good example. The person in front of ME is not going as fast as I would like. That person is texting and putting on mascara while driving... the nerve!

Or as I experienced this very evening: a driver cutting ME off, even though I signaled my turn, have flashing head and tail lights, bright reflective ankle strap, crazy reflectors on my helmet, a bright yellow (and totally dorky) vest. And this infraction at the end of my 15.8 mile commute turning onto MY street.

Pissed I was... yes, I allowed the dark side of the force to control me for a moment and I started to chase the offending vehicle up my street. I watched as my neighbor turned into their driveway and thought "love your neighbor as yourself" Ugh. What could be worse than an angry dork... an angry elf?

I love riding. Also on this same night I saw someone walking a bike with a rear flat. they had a backpack and a fishing pole coming from the bridge over the creek. A lot of folks fish in the Ballona Creek. I would not want to eat this fish, some do. Anyway I turned back and offered to make things right with the tire flatness. Wheel off, tire off, find puncture, patch... oops my glue is all dried out and hard as a rock. Now just today on Bike Snob NYC he mentioned the old dollar bill wrapped around the tube trick. Snobby has never steered anything wrong I am sure though I think he was referencing some dorks touring on fixed (dork) bikes in Japan.

Why not try it I thought to myself. Here I am looking like a total dork, "Here I'll help you out. I have everything you need in my capacious pannier." (yes it is a big bag). everything except a viable tube of glue. Kneeling there with mucilage on my face, I decided to go with the dollar bill wrapped around the tube. It held air. At least better than without, hopefully enough for this lady to get home. She had not caught any fish and said, "I was going to have rice and fish for dinner, now just rice. Well as long as I can get home for American Idol."

Glad to help,

The Bike Dork

Yes A Dork

It is clear to me that those who choose to ride a bicycle on a regular basis, and in any way make that choice a part of their identity are dorks. You roadies may think you look cool atop glistening carbon in multicolored lycra, but ask any you zip past and they will assure you that you are a dork. the same goes for MTB riders with full suspension, 29ers etc. Fixie riding hipsters... need I say more.

Then there is me, the commuter, the ultimate in cycle-dorkdum. With my fluorescent sticker festooned helmet, yellow safety vest, cargo-shorts (worn over bibs), on a painstakingly curated crappy 10-speed to single-speed conversion. I know the beautiful people of Los Angeles blush with shame as I slip past their Audi A4s on Abbot Kinney Way, thinking "This should not BE in our fair city." (more likely it is just "annoying twit on a bike!")

You can see that I am even proud of this dorkyness. It is true, so proud of my 30+ miles a day that I will wedge it into any conversation. For example: "Sushi... oh yeah i picked up some great sushi on my RIDE home the other night." Which will lead inevitably to me boasting about my pannier capacity. My what big bags you have.

I do love to ride and as I am at it a couple of hours a day most days of the week, it gets some top billing in my mental processes. I think I could share this and other thoughts in a blog...

So here it is, my first entry in "The Bike Dork"

Thanks